


what it's gonna be like when you get closer to your dreams

by hybridrep



Category: Monsta X (Band), No.MERCY (TV)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Established Relationship, M/M, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-13
Updated: 2017-03-13
Packaged: 2018-10-04 05:48:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,912
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10269635
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hybridrep/pseuds/hybridrep
Summary: “A love song? Really?” Jooheon says the second the track ends. “Song Gunhee wrote a freaking love song?”





	

**Author's Note:**

> writing canon feels like commiting a crime but i'm ready to go to jail

 

“I like it.”

 

It’s the third song Gunhee plays for him, and it’s good. They’re all really good. Bare, no rap or any vocals to them yet, but it’s easier to focus on the beat and how the melodies harmonize with each other.

 

Gunhee’s smiling, Jooheon sees it even as Gunhee’s eyes remain glued to the screen. When Gunhee turns to look up at him, he also sees that the smile is crooked. He pushes himself off his desk a little and fully faces Jooheon, just to tell him that he still didn’t send him his new songs.

 

“Hey!” Jooheon protests. “You never remind me to do so!”

 

Gunhee purses his lips and blinks. “Isn’t it because you’re so busy?”

 

Jooheon ignores the jab. He only makes an especially ugly face — maybe to make Gunhee laugh, who knows — as he turns Gunhee’s chair back towards his laptop. “Just—play that one you told me about. Show me some real rap, man.”

 

Snorting obnoxiously, Gunhee does as he’s asked. The beat is slow, deep and pulsing, and it sounds different from the previous tracks. The tone of Gunhee’s voice, too, is different. And the lyrics…

 

“A love song? Really?” Jooheon says the second the track ends. “Song Gunhee wrote a freaking love song?”

 

“Oh, shut up,” Gunhee sputters. He doesn’t even try to hide he’s embarrassed, and Jooheon snickers. “I did a love song, remember? Show Me the Money?”

 

“It was more of a hate song,” Jooheon protests. “This one is sweet. I thought you’re only this sentimental when it comes to your mom.”

 

Gunhee simply flips him off, and Jooheon reaches to catch his middle finger but misses, almost tripping over Gunhee’s chair. His hands end on the armrests. Jooheon, now embarrassed himself, covers it by leaning even closer to him. “Better send it to me,” he murmurs into the tight space between them, “so I can put it on my playlist.”

 

Gunhee shrugs. He won’t look at Jooheon properly, staring at something over Jooheon’s shoulder. “It’s not that good.”

 

Jooheon’s been sure Gunhee is past that self-doubt bullshit. From the messages they share, and from the few meetings they try to schedule in the middle of the nights when Jooheon’s the last to stay in his studio room at the company, Jooheon remembers Gunhee being more confident than he used to be. Frustrated, yes. Maybe even angry, at times, because his work just wouldn’t pay off as much as he’d like it to. And on top of that — Gunhee is everything but nervous around Jooheon.

 

Or is he, because it’s the first song of this kind, diverging from his usual stuff?

 

“‘s good enough for me,” Jooheon says, insistent. “The lyrics are—”

 

“Okay, okay, I’ll send it!” Gunhee pushes Jooheon away a little, laughing and shaking his head. His fringe falls into his eyes, and so he shakes his head again to get rid of it.

 

Jooheon stops himself from reaching out and fixing it. The longer they spend apart from each other, the more hesitant they grow to pick up where they left. It’s like the reset button happened — like they move in time to that moment after they kissed for the first time and didn’t talk about it for nearly a month, walking on eggshells whenever they met. But after the revelation of how it didn’t exactly change anything between them, they let it move forward.

 

It used to be easier, before, but a lot of things were easier when they were trainees. When they were just friends.

 

In the end, Jooheon doesn’t reach his fingers to swipe Gunhee’s hair away from his face but opts to take a seat on his bed. If something is to happen, he can let the tension build. He bounces on the bed a couple of times. “How is this thing doing? I still can’t believe we made it.”

 

“I made it,” Gunhee corrects him, and Jooheon throws a pillow at him. “What?! It’s true! You screwed in, like, two nails.”

 

“Wow, I’m hurt,” Jooheon says, sticking his bottom lip out in a pout. “Underappreciating me like that…”

 

Gunhee, from leaning against the back of his chair, moves forward — elbows on his knees, arms folded in half. “Couldn’t have risked it falling under my ass, y’know?”

 

This time Gunhee is ready when Jooheon throws another pillow at him, catching it but barely; Jooheon laughs when he almost drops it as he rolls it between his hands. Unfortunately, there aren’t any more pillows to attack Gunhee with.

 

“You’re a good enough carpenter it didn’t break under you, I’m proud.”

 

Gunhee’s room is tiny, so the space that separates them is not more than one meter. Jooheon feels it dwindle with Gunhee’s next words, “I haven’t tried its full potential, yet.”

 

It felt like that easy friendship they’ve always shared until this very moment. Now, it transpires into something else. Jooheon’s pulse kicks up a beat. He readjusts on the bed; from seating on the edge of it he moves further up. He waits.

 

Gunhee moves the chair closer then abandons it and stands on his feet. For how success-starved Jooheon might be, he wouldn’t mind Gunhee standing above him. But what’s even more desired is this: Gunhee crowding him in, leaning down, hands on Jooheon’s shoulders.

 

“This eager to try it, huh?”

 

This is something Jooheon had on the tip of his tongue, but Gunhee’s beaten him to it. Jooheon laughs, placing his hands on Gunhee’s hips and bringing him closer. Gunhee, under the pressure, has to kneel on the bed, one knee between Jooheon’s thighs and the other out.

 

Jooheon’s hands slip under Gunhee’s clothes — two pairs of shirts and a pair of sweatpants. Gunhee’s fingers reach out from Jooheon’s shoulder to touch the skin of his neck. It all feels like a game of who breaks first.

 

Jooheon stares at Gunhee’s mouth, wetting his own with the tip of his tongue, and he catches Gunhee tracing the movement. Got you. “When is your mom coming back?”

 

It shakes Gunhee off some, and their eyes meet. “There’s still half an hour or so. We can—”

 

Jooheon curls his fingers over the elastic band hugging Gunhee’s hips, and Gunhee breaks into a smirk. Jooheon confirms it with his own sly smile spread across his face. “Yeah, we can.”

 

Maybe it’s Gunhee pushing him down, or maybe Jooheon brings Gunhee with him when he falls onto that bed. The thing is, they go easily with each other. Matching steps and matching pace. Matching smiles that are kissed off of each other's lips.

 

It’s been too long, and something as simple as mouth against mouth, tongue meeting tongue, feels electrifying. Gunhee sucks on Jooheon’s bottom lip, and Jooheon can’t stop his body from arching up. He doesn’t want it to stop, but Gunhee presses him down, hot hands on Jooheon’s belly, and the kiss breaks.

 

“Are you—” Gunhee starts, brows furrowing under his bangs. He looks so good with his hair down, Jooheon thinks, distracted. “Do you have abs, now?” Hands move from over Jooheon’s hoodie — underneath it. “No way—”

 

He rolls Jooheon’s clothes up, and suddenly Jooheon feels self-conscious. Gunhee has seen him naked a copious amount of times, maybe not recently, but still. Jooheon wriggles under the scrutiny of Gunhee’s gaze.

 

“I’m working out with Hoseok hyung, remember? Told you ‘bout it.”

 

“Yeah, I know, I know, it’s just—” Gunhee moves his hands over the plane of Jooheon’s stomach, fingers digging in to feel it better. “It’s been too fucking long.”

 

Jooheon laughs out loud, relaxing some. “It’s not that impressive, though.” In truth, the abs are nowhere to be seen yet. His stomach has flattened, with skin hugging him more tightly than before, but that’s all there is. Gunhee’s awe is too farfetched. “And I miss late night snacks. A lot.”

 

Gunhee’s fingers haven’t stopped tracing Jooheon’s skin, and he moves them further up. Jooheon’s ready to slap them away, he’s had enough of it, but Gunhee’s leaning in to mouth under his bellybutton, catching the skin with his teeth. Jooheon slaps him only then.

 

“I know, Jooheon, chill,” Gunhee says. He looks at the faint mark he left, swipes the spit off it with his thumb. “Just—don’t beat yourself over it, okay?”

 

Jooheon has the vague idea Gunhee’s not talking about the mark but something else. He’s heard it from Gunhee before. Don’t you dare starve yourself — he got a message like that once. But he is not, and just like Gunhee, Jooheon doesn’t intend to repeat himself.

 

“I won’t.” He lifts his hips a little. Time’s running out. “C’mon, Gun-ah.”

 

“So impatient,” Gunhee murmurs, the puff of air from his mouth hitting Jooheon’s skin and making him squirm.

 

But Gunhee’s smiling, fingers unbuttoning Jooheon’s jeans swiftly. He tugs them down, all the way to his ankles, and Jooheon doesn’t have too much time to wonder what Gunhee has in mind this time, because he goes straight to the point of sucking Jooheon into his mouth. Jooheon’s hips buck up, and if Gunhee’s teeth didn’t leave any marks on his stomach, his nails digging into Jooheon’s thigh to keep him down might. The reprimand dies on Jooheon’s tongue as he moans, reaching for Gunhee’s hair and tugging.

 

“We don’t have time for this,” Jooheon says instead, in a rush, panting.

 

Gunhee’s room is small enough for it to bring memories of all those times they locked themselves in the tiny studio at the company. It’s the fight against all odds, has been since the very beginning, time being the biggest one. Just like now, with Jooheon afraid they have fifteen minutes left, at best. He tugs at Gunhee’s hair harder. “Gunhee, please.”

 

It works, and Gunhee takes his mouth off him, with a filthy sound as he does so. With no time for embarrassment, Jooheon fists his hands in Gunhee’s clothes and brings him up to his eye level.

 

“Hi,” Jooheon jokes, and with their joined efforts they pull Gunhee’s pants down. Gunhee smiles, and his lips are wet — with more than just spit.

 

“Hello,” Gunhee comes back at him, grinding down.

 

Jooheon hooks his leg over Gunhee’s, and they go from there. It would be better with the use of lube, but all Jooheon can think about is how little time they have. Then, there are Gunhee’s lips and the need to kiss them — despite where those lips have been moments ago — and, at last, the distant wish of fucking for real.

 

More often than not, Jooheon thinks he’d do it. They’ve never gone all the way before, not with all the limits set up for them. But when Jooheon has a second for himself, when his thoughts drift to Gunhee and all the what ifs play in Jooheon’s head, he thinks he would like for it to happen. He’d let Gunhee fuck him, try fucking Gunhee in turn, too.

 

Just thinking about it now, as their cocks slide together, makes his hips work harder. But it’s not enough, and Jooheon whines in frustration, making Gunhee laugh down at him again. “As I said, impatient.”

 

Too much talking, too little action — Jooheon puts his lips back on Gunhee to shut him up. The kiss, it’s insistent, openmouthed and hot. From all the knowledge about Gunhee he’s catalogued through the years, he knows it’s something Gunhee likes. And he’s proved right when Gunhee’s hips stutter, when he swallows a whimper off Gunhee’s tongue.

 

Gunhee doesn’t stay indebted. He abandons Jooheon’s mouth in favor of kissing his jaw, down to his neck.

 

“Careful,” Jooheon reminds him, always reminds him because sometimes Gunhee is careless.

 

Sometimes he’s a tease, like right now, biting down on the lobe of Jooheon’s ear. It’s as close as playing with fire gets. Jooheon shudders, despite everything or exactly in spite of it, and he knows he’s close. Gunhee speeds things up with a hand around their cocks, finally, and even without the proper lubrication it feels amazing.

 

The closer Jooheon gets, the harder he digs the soles of his feet into the bed, pushing his hips up, fucking into the tight circle of Gunhee’s fingers.

 

“Fuck,” Gunhee curses into the collar of Jooheon’s hoodie. His movements are far less coordinated, but no wonder — he doesn’t have much leverage. “Damn it, I wish we could—for real—”

 

Incoherent, but Jooheon gets what Gunhee means. He wishes they could, too, imagines them in the same position but different, with Gunhee not only above him but inside him, and he squeezes his eyes shut, tipping his head back; he’s almost there.

 

With fingers in Gunhee’s hair, it’s easy to feel when he moves, but Jooheon is still not prepared for him sticking his tongue out and licking from the very base of his neck all the way up. It starts with just the tip grazing Joohoen’s skin but ends up with the whole tongue flattened over his adam's apple, and when Gunhee licks over Jooheon’s lips — Jooheon’s coming.

 

Gunhee gets to his knees, and Jooheon groans when Gunhee’s come hits his stomach.

 

“Never thought getting somebody off could be so hot.”

 

Jooheon snorts, and lets Gunhee make even more of a mess by smearing the come all over his stomach. It’s dirty, but Jooheon can vaguely remember they’ve done worse. They’ve done worse despite never going all the way, that’s an achievement. “You said it before,” Jooheon reminds him, and when Gunhee gives him a surprised look, he goes on, “The first time? In the studio?”

 

Gunhee still looks incredulous. “I did? Well, you still amaze me, baby.”

 

“Oh my god,” Jooheon groans loudly, covering his face with his hands, “shut up.”

 

But he’s smiling, and he’s sure Gunhee can tell because he laughs, settling in next to Jooheon on the bed. He’s tucked himself in, and it’s Jooheon laying there all exposed. Jooheon shoves Gunhee away and doesn’t say sorry when Gunhee bumps into the wall with a thud. He hesitates before putting his pants on, screams as his hoodie rolls down, right over his come-stained stomach.

 

“Fucking hell,” Jooheon curses, because there’s only this much he can hide. Marks on his thighs, yes, but dirty clothes…

 

“Please, just don’t curse around my mom.”

 

Jooheon knows Gunhee’s only half joking, but he gives him a disbelieving look anyway. “I’m capable of watching my tongue, you little—”

 

Gunhee’s laughing again, and Jooheon, in the heat of the moment, grabs Gunhee’s hand — the dirty one — and wipes it off on the front of Gunhee’s shirt.

 

“You forget I have a washing machine right here,” Gunhee says, looking down at himself with disgust nevertheless. “Tissues are on the table.”

 

There’s not much Jooheon can do without a proper shower, but it’s still better to pull his clothes over a more or less dry body. It must have been more than half an hour, but Gunhee’s mother hasn’t come back yet. Jooheon lays back onto the bed, and Gunhee, besides getting rid of the dirty shirt, doesn’t move from his spot by the wall. Jooheon blinks up at him, fighting the heaviness of his eyelids as he slowly grows sleepy. He wouldn’t mind taking a nap. Too bad there seems to never be enough time for that. Or for any other thing, for that matter.

 

“Staying for dinner?” Gunhee asks tentatively, as if he’s reading Jooheon’s mind.

 

“Hmm,” Jooheon ponders. “Yeah, I could stay. But not too late.”

 

“Still very much busy, huh?”

 

And there it is — a quiet tone, aiming to be baiting but losing by a mile. And Jooheon can hear the wistfulness in it. It makes his heart throb in discomfort.

 

“A little bit,” he chokes out. “Comeback is delayed, though, so we—I’ve got some time off.” He feels too small all of a sudden, anxious, as if Gunhee were to turn back on him any second. But he never does, so Jooheon swallows down whatever ridiculousness his brain is trying to supply him with. “So, we could try, you know, to see each other again soon.”

 

Gunhee lets out a heavy sigh. It’s a tight fit on the bed, but he’s on his back, too, both of them staring up at the ceiling. Gunhee finds Jooheon’s hand, starts playing with his fingers. “I have all the free time, so—yeah. Just, hit me up. Let me know when.”

 

It stings, should have lessened through the years, but somehow it still manages to make Jooheon’s heart hurt.

 

“We should meet at the company,” Jooheon finds himself saying. He squeezes Gunhee’s fingers that are between his. “Work on something together, yeah?”

 

Gunhee squeezes back. “Yeah... Yeah, let’s—” He cuts himself off, turns to kiss Jooheon just as the keys jingle in the front door. They both must have missed the steps outside. “We’ll talk about this later, okay?” He says, and they kiss once more, probably for the last time this evening. Gunhee rolls over him and off the bed to greet his mother home.

 

Breathing in and out, blinking the dampness away from his eyes, Jooheon gets to his feet as well. He’s already smiling just hearing Gunhee’s mother fussing over something — Gunhee, probably — and Gunhee’s meek protests, and it blooms into a full-on grin when he opens the door to greet her, too.

 

Later, Gunhee’s said. Their eyes meet when Gunhee’s mother opens the fridge to bring the food for dinner out. They will always have their later.

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> fueled by endless talks with my beta thank you!!


End file.
